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"Why don’t they just get it?" - Communicating Effectively When We’re All Wired Differently

Have you ever found yourself thinking “Why don’t they just get it?” after a conversation with a colleague or client? Or maybe you’ve left an interaction feeling completely misunderstood yourself. If so, you’re not alone, and it’s unlikely anyone is being difficult on purpose. It might just be that you’re speaking different communication languages.

We’re not all wired the same way (and that’s… tricky)

At VDS Training, one of the most common challenges we hear from veterinary teams is that working with other humans - as lovely as they often are - can be hard work. 

Let’s face it, most people didn’t embark on a career in veterinary medicine with the primary goal of navigating challenging emotions, conversations and situations with people... and yet, so much of day-to-day practice is about working with humans in order to help animals. Whether that’s worried clients, clinical colleagues or the wider practice or business teams.

It can feel especially challenging when someone else’s communication style is totally different to yours. Maybe you like to get straight to the point, whilst someone else wants a chat first.   Perhaps you need time to think, but someone else is pushing for the answer straight away. It’s easy to feel like they’re being awkward, when really, they might just have a different way of communicating. 

This is where understanding both your own and others' communication style can make all the difference.

What are communication and behavioural styles?

At VDS Training, we often use DISC profiling to help veterinary teams better understand themselves and each other. DISC is a simple but powerful tool that identifies four key communication styles, or energies, that we might draw on when we communicate:

Most of us have a blend of these styles and energies, and we’re capable of flexing them depending on the context. That said, we often have a natural preference for one or two styles – those that feel more comfortable or instinctive for us. Understanding those preferences in yourself and others can really make a difference to your communication skills.

You might notice someone demonstrating particular DISC energies in the way they interact. For example, they may:

• Show D energy when they communicate in a direct, results-focused way.
• Use I energy if they're warm, chatty and animated
• Demonstrate S energy by listening carefully, aiming to keep things calm and steady.
• Reflect C energy through focusing on precision, structure or detail.

Top Tips: How to adapt your communication style (without changing who you are!)

Here are a few quick tips to try next time you’re working with someone who communicates differently to you:

Communicating with a D Style (Dominant)

• Be direct, clear, and get to the point
• Focus on outcomes and results
• Don’t overload them with detail or waffle

Communicating with an I Style (Influencing)

• Be friendly, warm, and upbeat
• Take time to chat and connect
• Avoid being too blunt or overly critical

Communicating with an S Style (Steady)

• Be patient and take time to build trust
• Show appreciation and offer reassurance
• Avoid sudden change or pressure

Communicating with a C Style (Conscientious)

• Be clear, detailed, and organised
• Give them time to think and process
• Avoid being vague or unprepared

Seeing things from their perspective: Why self-awareness matters

We all speak our own language when it comes to communication – shaped by our preferences, experiences, and how we see the world. No two people approach a conversation in exactly the same way. So it’s no surprise that communication breakdowns can lead to stress, tension, and even complaints - not because anyone’s doing a bad job, but because we all have different ways of interacting.

Understanding communication styles isn’t about putting people in boxes, and it’s certainly not about changing who you are. It’s accepting that we all see things from our individual perspectives and will communicate in a way that makes sense to us. Communicating in a way that makes sense to the other person in the conversation can really help to reduce misunderstandings, ease tricky conversations, and help your team to work together more effectively and harmoniously.

Want to find out your style?

Curious about your own communication style or that of your team? Our DISC Behavioural Profile and 1-2-1 Session is a great way to build self-awareness, boost communication skills, and create stronger teams.

Alongside DISC, we also use Insights Discovery in our coaching and training. Insights Discovery is a psychometric tool which uses a four-colour model to highlight key personality preferences and behaviours.

The behavioural report itself gives you plenty to reflect on, but it’s often in the personalised 1-2-1 session with one of our expert coaches where everything really clicks - helping you feel more confident putting it all into practice in your everyday conversations. 

→ Learn more and get your DISC or Insight Discovery profile here: Behavioural Profiling with VDS Training

About VDS Training
VDS Training are passionate about developing all members of the veterinary team, to help you overcome the personal and professional challenges you face on a daily basis, and to build practical skills and techniques to make a real difference to you and your life.